Jan 9, 2011

Diets boy do we all hate that word.  But every now and then we decide its time to get on one, sometimes we stick to them other times we dont.  I have dont this before, yep the diet thing and Im hopeful this time I will stick to it.  My diet isnt one of those diets where you only eat meat, or you cant eat this or that.  I want to still be able to eat everything. Be healthy by eating the foods I know I should eat and the ones I shouldnt eat but also cut back on the amount I eat.  Simple enough NOPE!  Its really hard at times to not go back for seconds or to say to yourself YOU SHOULDNT eat that when you know you want to.  Looking at that cookies staring back at you knowing you shouldnt eat it or that ice cream in your freezer calling your name.

Im a big girl I wasnt big growing up but I ended up getting pregnant at a young age and had some issues with it.  Causing my weight to go up big time, that is when it all started.  I started to work when my oldest was a baby, lost a lot of weight and was happy where I was at that time.  Sadly my father got very ill and passed away then some hard times for my hubby and I caused me to gain the weight and then some.  So back to where I was in fact bigger, ugh what a pain this was going to be.  I became a stay at home mom which caused me to do nothing outside the home as in working out.  I didnt mind me big the size I was until it got out of hand, we tried to conceive our middle daughter and got pg right away. Sadly at 2 mos the pregnancy ended in miscarriage which caused more issues for me.  I was so upset with this matter to where I stopped thinking about me and only thought about having another baby.  My weight got in the way so I was told, after years of trying I decided it was time.

Time to do the diet thing.  I got on sparkpeople.com which is a site to track your calories and carbs and fats, as long you imput what you ate that day.  It was my life for a while, I was obsessed on making the goals they gave me and working out.  I felt great, boom got pregnant and this time it stuck!  I found out I pregnancy diabetes, which was so bad where I had to be on insulin.  I lost a lot of weight even being pregnant due to the diet I had to be on and such.  I was so thrilled about the weight loss and how I felt after having my second.  I stopped watching what I ate and working out, there goes the weight back up.  I got back on a diet after I got off the birth control pill which is when my middle was a yr old, at this point we were not trying to have another but not preventing  Thinking it would take as long as it did before I got on the diet again and found out 2 mos into it I was pregnant.

Big shocker at this point I found out I had diabetes but not as bad.  So I gained around 50lbs,  nothing major I thought to myself I could do this.  So after having her I decided Id just watch what I ate nothing more nothing less.  Much harder then I expected this time not sure why, I was told the depo shot was part of the reason wanting to eat all of the time.  I ate all of the time and went back for seconds and thirds.  It was bad to where I would go every 3 mos for my depo shot my weight went up and up and up.  I was so upset with myself, but it hit me the day I had to go clothes shopping because I had no pants that would fit me.

My youngest being 9 mos old now, Im at my heaviest 327lbs and a size 24.  I want to be down to 180 or a size 14-16.  So 2011 came around and I said to myself its time, time for me to stick to it and time for me to do it for myself.  Time to be able to go into a store and not worry about what people are thinking of me or who is staring at me.  Time for me to do it for my kids so I can see them grow up and have kids of their own!

I have been doing good, today I skipped breakfast.  Having kids means getting up in the middle of the night.  My 9 mos still gets up to nurse, yes I still nurse her which I heard was good to loose weight, haha my ass.  So my husband will take the kids to allow me to sleep in, which means I miss breakfast at times.  Not a good thing when trying to loose weight, so I hear.  I decided to eat pork chops with a nice sauce on it.  It was a cranberry sauce that had cider vinegar and mustard in it.  Its not too sweet or anything either, then sadly I ate 4 chocolate chip cookies.  That was my down fall, I did drink water all day today until now.  For dinner I ate 1 cup of chicken and 1 cup of white rice.  I heard brown is better so Ill be getting some next time I go grocery shopping.  When I decided to do a snack for the girls which was ice cream I didnt get a bowl for myself! I wanted to but I wanted more self control and I didnt do it!

My issues is sweets and sweet tea.  I love me some sweet tea, and brownies, and cookies and chips.  I heard DONT have them in the house when your on a diet.  Very hard when you have kids, they deserve to have a few things themselves nothing major just some.  So to me if you cant have it in your house you dont have enough self control.   So I want to be sure I have enough self control.  The girls get somethings nothing major, just 1 cookie or the a few chips in a bowl.  My husband I wish would watch what he eats but its up to him not me, I may push him more!

Onto working out, who wants to work out? Who wants to do something so dull?  Not me, I hated doing it when I did it before and was dreading doing it this time. We bought the wii, which is a great thing if you ask me.  I got my oldest daughter Just Dance Kids, its a game you dance with the person.  Which actually is harder then you thing trust me.  I decided 30mins to an hour a day doing that or doing the sports games(bowling, tennis, golf, boxing, ect)would help out and its fun!  So onto the first day of the dancing which was today.  HAHA Im sure if anyone looked into my windows they would have ran away, a girl over 300lbs dancing Im sure isnt a site anyone wants to see. But it was fun and hard, I at first wasnt moving my feet thinking I didnt have to as the controller is on your hand.  But I I got into and started to move everything, it was so fun.  Got me sweating up a storm, when 30 mins went by I couldnt do it anymore.  I was sweating and my feet hurt, figured Id get used to it so I can do longer when and longer.  I will also change it up from the dancing to the sports, which Ill do the sports in front of the family.  The dancing I wont do it in front of the hubby, Im sure he would laugh his ass off if he saw me do it!

Support is what you need too, you need someone to be there for you.  So on facebook we made a group and I have a few ladies who are also on a diet.  Each one doing it different then the next but there for the same reason support!  These ladies the last 2 days have pushed me to drink more water, to get up and do the dancing even if I didnt want to.  If you dont have support from family or friends then go online, there is always groups for it! Or ask me about the group on facebook and your be welcome to join!

Welcome to my journey to loose 147lbs by Jan 1st 2012!